Thursday, November 26, 2009
Diagnosis (long story)
Most of you know that we have been struggling with Kara and her behavior at school (among other places). She's always been very bright and can be quite enjoyable to be around... great sense of humor, loves to learn, craves doing crafts. However, she has had a hard time with being easily upset and shows a lot of anxiety towards new situations. She cannot deal with chaos or not being on a schedule and she is prone to having outbursts at any given time, sometimes without even being provoked. She does not know how to make and keep friends or how to act around other kids. Last year her teacher thought she just had anger issues (same story we've heard a few years now from teachers).
The wonderful teacher Kara has this year has really taken Kara under her wing and wanted to get to the root of the problem. She started looking past the anger and frustration to find out what was making Kara so angry. With her guidance, we consented to have Kara evaluated and tested at school and at the doctor for cognitive, behavior, IQ, and anxiety-type disorders. Her cognitive scores have come back showing her weakest subject is math (which is testing at a 6th grade level) and most subjects, logic, and reasoning are testing at age 21. So far (they're still calculating), it looks like her IQ is over 165. Basically when Kara's a teenager and she thinks she's smarter than me, she most likely will be. A lot of Kara's anger and frustration at school are because she is too smart for the work she's doing and is completely bored. This testing allows the school to give her an IEP so she can be properly challenged academically.
Kara has been diagnosed by two doctors as having Asperger's syndrome )which is on the autism spectrum but isn't characterized as having classic autism traits). She fixates on certain topics (like crafts and food). She also has to follow a routine otherwise she is completely out of sorts. The outbursts and not being able to socialize properly or appropriately as well as the anxiety (as described above) are all signs of the Asperger's. However, some characteristics with Kara weren't fitting so it took some time and careful evaluation to diagnose her. One of the aspects that didn't fit is that Kara is gifted in all subjects. Mostly Asperger individuals are gifted in one or two subjects (like math or music). Another aspect that didn't fit is her ability to (pretty much) socialize well with adults. She can be very delightful (teacher's words) to speak with one-on-one at an adult level. The reason this doesn't fit Asperger's is that they typically don't socialize well with anyone. However, since Kara is so intelligent (doctor and teacher's words), she does relate better on an adult level than with her peers.
I am soooo much less frustrated with her knowing that her behaviors are not her fault. She can't help how she reacts. Her brain just works differently. I used to be baffled by her snapping a trite remark or yelling a response angrily when someone asks a simple question. In her calm moments, she knows she shouldn't do that but she honestly cannot help it and most times doesn't even realize she's done anything like that. Since hearing an initial diagnosis with her pediatrician (before seeing a specialist and confirming the diagnosis), Kara has seemed to understand that her behaviors are not all her fault. She has been much happier at home and at school. Some of this might be because of the difference in attitude Jeff and I have with her. I can't punish her for an outburst. It's not as if she's going to go unpunished for everything from now on, but I can at least understand and see things a little differently.
Kara's teacher is LDS too. She shared an experience from this past summer with me. She had taught at the same school for 25 years. It was next to her house which was not only convenient, but her husband is blind so she deemed it almost necessary to be that close to home. Last year, the principal at her school retired and the district decided to revamp the school including transferring teachers to other schools who had been at that school longer than 10 years. Kara's teacher was understandably very upset. She prayed about it and was still feeling upset and unsettled. She had a priesthood blessing. In her blessing she was told that the Lord had a specific reason for her to be at this new school and that it would be apparent to her once school began. She felt unsettled still. This happened two more times throughout the summer. Two other blessings confirmed the same thing: that there is a reason she was meant to come to this new school. She told me that she knows without a doubt that Kara is the reason she was meant to come to this school this year. It's completely out of my understanding how Kara got a teacher who has worked with Asperger kids in the past and who is extremely intelligent and saw Kara for who she is. The Lord truly has a guiding hand in our lives.
I am extremely grateful for the chance I've had to get some insight into how Kara works. To be able to understand your child and how they think is a miracle (especially with the nightmare school has been for her and us as parents the past few years). I cannot believe that not a single teacher, principal, or counselor had seen this sooner with all their training. We don't see how she acts in social situations with children, so we couldn't possible know. I'm thankful we were guided to this new area. I'm thankful her teacher did not choose to fight the district and stay at her school (which she could have done). I'm thankful we chose a home where we did so our kids could go to such a wonderful school. I'm also thankful that Kara happened to be assigned to the new teacher since her specialties were subjects Kara loves (science and reading). I'm thankful to those still reading this insanely long post so that they can understand the weight that's been lifted off my shoulders. Our love for Kara grows every day. And now hopefully Kara's love for herself can increase also with greater understanding and a more nurturing environment for her at home and at school.
The wonderful teacher Kara has this year has really taken Kara under her wing and wanted to get to the root of the problem. She started looking past the anger and frustration to find out what was making Kara so angry. With her guidance, we consented to have Kara evaluated and tested at school and at the doctor for cognitive, behavior, IQ, and anxiety-type disorders. Her cognitive scores have come back showing her weakest subject is math (which is testing at a 6th grade level) and most subjects, logic, and reasoning are testing at age 21. So far (they're still calculating), it looks like her IQ is over 165. Basically when Kara's a teenager and she thinks she's smarter than me, she most likely will be. A lot of Kara's anger and frustration at school are because she is too smart for the work she's doing and is completely bored. This testing allows the school to give her an IEP so she can be properly challenged academically.
Kara has been diagnosed by two doctors as having Asperger's syndrome )which is on the autism spectrum but isn't characterized as having classic autism traits). She fixates on certain topics (like crafts and food). She also has to follow a routine otherwise she is completely out of sorts. The outbursts and not being able to socialize properly or appropriately as well as the anxiety (as described above) are all signs of the Asperger's. However, some characteristics with Kara weren't fitting so it took some time and careful evaluation to diagnose her. One of the aspects that didn't fit is that Kara is gifted in all subjects. Mostly Asperger individuals are gifted in one or two subjects (like math or music). Another aspect that didn't fit is her ability to (pretty much) socialize well with adults. She can be very delightful (teacher's words) to speak with one-on-one at an adult level. The reason this doesn't fit Asperger's is that they typically don't socialize well with anyone. However, since Kara is so intelligent (doctor and teacher's words), she does relate better on an adult level than with her peers.
I am soooo much less frustrated with her knowing that her behaviors are not her fault. She can't help how she reacts. Her brain just works differently. I used to be baffled by her snapping a trite remark or yelling a response angrily when someone asks a simple question. In her calm moments, she knows she shouldn't do that but she honestly cannot help it and most times doesn't even realize she's done anything like that. Since hearing an initial diagnosis with her pediatrician (before seeing a specialist and confirming the diagnosis), Kara has seemed to understand that her behaviors are not all her fault. She has been much happier at home and at school. Some of this might be because of the difference in attitude Jeff and I have with her. I can't punish her for an outburst. It's not as if she's going to go unpunished for everything from now on, but I can at least understand and see things a little differently.
Kara's teacher is LDS too. She shared an experience from this past summer with me. She had taught at the same school for 25 years. It was next to her house which was not only convenient, but her husband is blind so she deemed it almost necessary to be that close to home. Last year, the principal at her school retired and the district decided to revamp the school including transferring teachers to other schools who had been at that school longer than 10 years. Kara's teacher was understandably very upset. She prayed about it and was still feeling upset and unsettled. She had a priesthood blessing. In her blessing she was told that the Lord had a specific reason for her to be at this new school and that it would be apparent to her once school began. She felt unsettled still. This happened two more times throughout the summer. Two other blessings confirmed the same thing: that there is a reason she was meant to come to this new school. She told me that she knows without a doubt that Kara is the reason she was meant to come to this school this year. It's completely out of my understanding how Kara got a teacher who has worked with Asperger kids in the past and who is extremely intelligent and saw Kara for who she is. The Lord truly has a guiding hand in our lives.
I am extremely grateful for the chance I've had to get some insight into how Kara works. To be able to understand your child and how they think is a miracle (especially with the nightmare school has been for her and us as parents the past few years). I cannot believe that not a single teacher, principal, or counselor had seen this sooner with all their training. We don't see how she acts in social situations with children, so we couldn't possible know. I'm thankful we were guided to this new area. I'm thankful her teacher did not choose to fight the district and stay at her school (which she could have done). I'm thankful we chose a home where we did so our kids could go to such a wonderful school. I'm also thankful that Kara happened to be assigned to the new teacher since her specialties were subjects Kara loves (science and reading). I'm thankful to those still reading this insanely long post so that they can understand the weight that's been lifted off my shoulders. Our love for Kara grows every day. And now hopefully Kara's love for herself can increase also with greater understanding and a more nurturing environment for her at home and at school.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
New Haircuts
Kara starting hinting earlier this week that she'd like short hair again... this morning she finally came out and asked if she could have her hair cut short... I had her think about it all day before we rushed and cut it. This was our fun after-school activity... cute kids! :) In the pictures, the cut looks a little uneven, but don't worry, it isn't - the girls kept flipping their heads around before I could snap the pictures.
Kara's new look:
Not to be left out, Brooke decided she wanted hers short too:
Kara's new look:
Not to be left out, Brooke decided she wanted hers short too:
Knitting projects
Here are some knitting projects I've been working on the past few weeks:
Amber's Sweater (she's been shivering in the mornings and getting cold at night - hope this helps her):
Hats & gloves for Kara & Brooke:
Soon to come are new Christmas stockings (Brooke's is done, starting Kara's tonight).... pictures will be posted when I'm done with both. :)
Amber's Sweater (she's been shivering in the mornings and getting cold at night - hope this helps her):
Hats & gloves for Kara & Brooke:
Soon to come are new Christmas stockings (Brooke's is done, starting Kara's tonight).... pictures will be posted when I'm done with both. :)
Friday, November 13, 2009
Lucky Friday the 13th!!!
Traditionally Friday the 13th has never been an unlucky day for me. My birthday has fallen on Friday the 13th a few times and I was married on Friday the 13th.
And today that tradition continues... this morning I found my diamond! YAY!!!!
Just had to share and be happy (and thankful)! :)
And today that tradition continues... this morning I found my diamond! YAY!!!!
Just had to share and be happy (and thankful)! :)
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Another thing to be thankful for
Yesterday we had parent teacher conferences at school. Kara and Brooke both had wonderful report cards and both are performing above grade level in every subject.
Brooke's teacher told us that Brooke is "the light in her day". The only thing Brooke needs to work on is that she talks too much. But her teacher said that it's the best problem to have and that she tells the kids that they'll be glad that they are social when they're older. Brooke's teacher also suspects that Brooke's talking has to do with how much she is willing to help out the other kids at her table. Brooke is always willing to help and is very patient with the other kids even when they have a hard time with their assignments.
Kara's teacher had so many good things to say and is starting Kara on 5th grade math to help take care of some of the boredom. She's also given Kara the green light to research anything she likes and then present it to the class. We're hoping that'll help ease some boredom too and also improve her self esteem. Her teacher loves Kara's independent spirit and her thirst for knowledge.
Jeff & I are very thankful that the girls are going to this awesome school and that they both have such wonderful, caring teachers (and small classes).
Brooke's teacher told us that Brooke is "the light in her day". The only thing Brooke needs to work on is that she talks too much. But her teacher said that it's the best problem to have and that she tells the kids that they'll be glad that they are social when they're older. Brooke's teacher also suspects that Brooke's talking has to do with how much she is willing to help out the other kids at her table. Brooke is always willing to help and is very patient with the other kids even when they have a hard time with their assignments.
Kara's teacher had so many good things to say and is starting Kara on 5th grade math to help take care of some of the boredom. She's also given Kara the green light to research anything she likes and then present it to the class. We're hoping that'll help ease some boredom too and also improve her self esteem. Her teacher loves Kara's independent spirit and her thirst for knowledge.
Jeff & I are very thankful that the girls are going to this awesome school and that they both have such wonderful, caring teachers (and small classes).
Sunday, November 8, 2009
not so thankful tonight
I guess being thankful didn't last very long. I'll try better tomorrow.
I lost the diamond in my wedding ring sometime tonight!!!! It's nowhere to be found. We've torn apart the sink drains and the couches, checked the carpet (everywhere on the floor). It's gone. I took the remainder of my ring off for the first time in over ten years tonight. It's very strange to be without this ring on. So very sad (and angry and disappointed). :(
I lost the diamond in my wedding ring sometime tonight!!!! It's nowhere to be found. We've torn apart the sink drains and the couches, checked the carpet (everywhere on the floor). It's gone. I took the remainder of my ring off for the first time in over ten years tonight. It's very strange to be without this ring on. So very sad (and angry and disappointed). :(
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thankful
Since November contains Thanksgiving and the end of the year is drawing near, I will try to focus on being thankful. I need to remember to be more grateful and on counting the blessings we already have.
My father-in-law underwent surgery this week to have a very large mass removed from his stomach. After speaking with my mother-in-law this morning, we know the following: the doctor doesn't even know what to call it - just that it was big and ugly (about as big around as a baseball and appx 8 inches long). Tests determined it was not cancerous (thank goodness!) and it's all gone now. My FIL is getting discharged today and we're all very glad he was in such good health that his body (at 74 years old) has healed so quickly and he's doing so well. If I know him, he's been going crazy being stuck in bed for 3 days (and I'm sure for a few more at home). He does not sit still very easily - he's always on the move, he goes for long walks several times a day, and he's always thinking of what needs to be done next and then gets it done.
Although my in-laws plans to spend a bulk of the winter with us in the warmer weather may not come to fruition now, I'm truly grateful he's on his way home and that they don't have this latest health scare to worry about any longer. Maybe this will get us up to their house at Thanksgiving. And with any luck at all, the girls will have some snow to play in while we're there without us having to drive to/from SLC in the snowy weather. I'll not hold my breath for either.
My father-in-law underwent surgery this week to have a very large mass removed from his stomach. After speaking with my mother-in-law this morning, we know the following: the doctor doesn't even know what to call it - just that it was big and ugly (about as big around as a baseball and appx 8 inches long). Tests determined it was not cancerous (thank goodness!) and it's all gone now. My FIL is getting discharged today and we're all very glad he was in such good health that his body (at 74 years old) has healed so quickly and he's doing so well. If I know him, he's been going crazy being stuck in bed for 3 days (and I'm sure for a few more at home). He does not sit still very easily - he's always on the move, he goes for long walks several times a day, and he's always thinking of what needs to be done next and then gets it done.
Although my in-laws plans to spend a bulk of the winter with us in the warmer weather may not come to fruition now, I'm truly grateful he's on his way home and that they don't have this latest health scare to worry about any longer. Maybe this will get us up to their house at Thanksgiving. And with any luck at all, the girls will have some snow to play in while we're there without us having to drive to/from SLC in the snowy weather. I'll not hold my breath for either.
Brooke with Grandpa Stevens:
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